Going back to work

The California Commission on Teaching Credentialing finally issued my teaching credential. My file apparently sat on someone's desk at SDSU all summer. I checked for positions on edjoin and it looks like I may need to substitute teach this school year, as the school year already began. Although I would have liked a full time position, working part time may be good, for now,  since Ethan will not enter kindergarten until next year. Also, I have never subbed and I can benefit from going into other teachers' classrooms to glean ideas that I can later implement in my own classroom. I've been a stay-home-mom for 5 years and I feel pretty excited about having my own classroom again/ teaching.... yeah, having an income would be nice too.     

Happy Birthday Ava Mia

Today marks the second year anniversary of my daughter's birth.  She continues to bring me joy. I am continually thankful to God for giving her to me. There exists a connection between parent and child that extends beyond our arms' reach, beyond our eyes' witnessing, beyond any understanding and beyond our mind's capacity to remember.  

This is one of my favorite pencil drawings by Jean Keaton.  

I wrote this poem for Ava in April of this year: 

joyful hope

sweet impression of

holding you,

more real than 

absence

absence is nothing

you

I kissed

faith,

the substance

of things hoped for

you

evidence of things unseen,

of His promises

His love

Amy Manely Bonifaz

Happy birthday

sweet, beautiful,

Ava Mia

mommy, daddy,

Josiah and Ethan

 love and miss you

very much!

 

We will go

 to where you are.

 

The Lord your God is with you,

He is mighty to save.

He will take great delight in you,

 He will quiet you with his love,

He will rejoice over you with singing. 

Zephaniah 3:17

One of the many ways the Lord showed His compassion to me was by revealing to me, in my heart, that Ava belonged and belongs to Him. Someone from my Yahoo Ivemark's Group shared this poem while I was still pregnant with Ava. 

Half of an Angel’s Heart

It's a beautiful day up in heaven. Jesus is rounding up his tiniest

angels, to go live on earth, and be born. One of the sweetest angels   

says to Jesus "I don't want to leave, I like it here, and I will miss

you". He reassures the scared little angel that everything will be

okay, and that she is just going for a visit. She is still not swayed

by this idea. So Jesus kneels down, and says, "How about if you leave

half of your heart here with me and take the other half with you, will

that be okay?" The angel smiles and says, "I guess that will work".

But the little angel is still a little scared. She asks, "Will I be

okay with only half of my heart?" Jesus replies, "Of course you will,

I have other angels there that will help out, and you will be fine."

Then Jesus gives the angel more details about his plan. He says "When

you are born, your mommy will be scared, so you have to be strong, and

when you feel weak just remember that I have the other half of your

heart". "Enjoy your time with your family, play and laugh everyday."

"And when its time to come back to heaven, I will make your heart

whole again. Always remember that you are not broken, just torn

between two loves."

author unknown

Each picture has a story

The Foot Book

These are my three children. Well, their feet. One of our favorite things to do is to read books in bed. The Foot book by Dr. Seuss is one that they really enjoy. During Ava's 5-month stay at home with us [she spent her first and last month of life in the hospital, with 5 months in-between at home] J, E, A and I spent a lot of time at home indoors. A's deficient immune system, due to her absent spleen, was of great concern. The kids and I used plenty of Purell and stayed away from public places. 

The most difficult part about being in the hospital was being torn between being with either Ava or my boys. EB or I [or at times, both] were always by Ava's side. I cannot describe the contentment and joy that I felt to have all of my children with me. Once she was home, I took J and E to all of their sister's doctor's appointments, x-ray visits, with me. I would push E and A in the double stroller and J would walk / or I would carry A in her carrier while pushing J and E in the double stroller. Even though I had family members that would happily accompany me or watch the boys, I chose to be super-mom and do it on-my-own to the best of my ability. I'd carry coloring books, toys, medicines, pacifier, snacks... everything I needed to keep all three happy and entertained (but most importantly, to keep them with me)-- it just felt so good to meet all of their needs myself. I would give the world to have all three with me again.

Ava's Births
Ava Mia Bonifaz was born by c-section at Sharp Mary Birch Hospital, 3003 Health Center Drive, San Diego, CA at 2: 21 pm on September 05, 2006. 

She went to be with the Lord (born back into heaven) when she was 7 months, 8 days old at 7: 20 am on April 13, 2007.

Ava Mia Tile
This is the tile made for us at the hospital after she died. I chose the words for it. All I could think of at that moment was what I had known all along, she belongs to God. 

Heart Catheterization Bear
Ava Mia received this black bear (undressed) as a gift from hospital personnel after her heart catheterization when she was 4 months old. It has a big red heart on its chest and a red heart on the bottom of each foot. It now wears a pair of Ava's ballet shoe socks, Ava's red hospital band, one of Ava's extra purple dinosaur hospital band-aids across its heart, a red bow I purchased in Ensenada for Ava after her passing which she will never wear,....and ... the dress is an exact replica of the dress Ava was buried in, which my mom purchased for her at Stratesburg Children, a boutique of children's formal-wear that sells small doll dresses to match their girl dresses (the only difference is that Ava's dress came with a slip and small pearl accents in the stitching). I dressed the bear a couple months ago as I went through items of hers that I kept.   

Ava received a Birthday gift yesterday!

Thank you tia Aly, Eliana, Emmanuel, Aaron, tio Leonel :0)